Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
