I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
