I wish I could punch you in the face.
Welp...herpes.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
