At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
