Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Randomize
