last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
