wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i've created a new STD.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
