guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
