Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
