i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My hand turned me down
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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