i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
