Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just googled if crying burns calories
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize