Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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