we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
