names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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