I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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