we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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