called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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