Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
