i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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