i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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