sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
