i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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