I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize