I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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