I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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