I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
