so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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