So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
