You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
