if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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