I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
