and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
