I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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