it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
