Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
