yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
