My boss' voice literally gives me gas
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
