I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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