Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
