we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
