we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
