even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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