what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
