So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
