Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
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why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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