just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
