I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
