Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
