I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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