theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
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thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
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When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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