At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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