Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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