I swear she didn't look like that last week.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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