we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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