her vagine was all disorganized.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
