how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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