i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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