I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
