Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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