1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
